


Simple

by itsyuu



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Canon Compliant, Fluff and Angst, M/M, MSBY Black Jackals - Freeform, One-Sided Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:47:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23741050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsyuu/pseuds/itsyuu
Summary: Hinata tries to fall out of love without hurting Atsumu in the process.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Miya Atsumu
Comments: 48
Kudos: 329





	Simple

Sitting legs crossed on his bed, a phone on one hand and a volley ball in the other, Hinata is telling Kenma about the practice match they had today with the Black Jackals team, and how he's hoping that he would be a regular on the team soon. It's totally normal for a new player to sit on the bench a few matches, but Hinata has the urge to play in an official match, as soon as possible.

“You still amaze me Shouyou.” Kenma laughs on the other side of the facetime. “It seems like you're always hungry. You're never satisfied.”

That sums up Hinata pretty well. Always trying to do better, to be better, to outdone everything he's ever done. He always yearns for that number one spot, and it's been driving him for years now. Even though it's now a bit toned down. He's more realistic than he was in high school. He knows how long and how hard the path he's following is going to be, but that makes it even more interesting and exciting for the adrenaline freak he is. 

“Nop!” He answers, proudly. “I want to play so bad.” He whines, and Kenma looks at him, a fond smile on his face.

“Soon.” Kenma says, like it's a fact. No one can resist Hinata long enough.

Hinata nods. Soon, he can just wait a little more. Plus, practice is very fun with his new team. He already loves his teammates. Not only are they skilled players, but they're also very nice and the overall atmosphere reminds him of Karasuno, sometimes. Feeling his thoughts drift somewhere dangerous, Hinata gets a grip on himself before that.

“So!” Hinata says, louder than necessary. “What video are you doing this week?” 

“Animal Crossing.” Kenma says simply.

“Isn't it the..fifth Animal Crossing video in a row?” Hinata wonders, couting on his hand.

“And?” Kenma says and Hinata shrugs. 

“It doesn't matter to me! I love watching you play anything!” Hinata says enthusiastically, like he always does. 

Kenma scoffs, but his lip twitches in a smile. 

The call ends when Meian knocks on Hinata's door, telling him that he needs to sleep because they have practice early tomorrow. Hinata apologizes and regretfully tells Kenma that he has to go. Being a professional volleyball player is not easy, Hinata is not allowed to do anything he likes, but it's not something he minds too much. Volleyball is what makes him happy, and he still can't believe he's playing professionnaly, in one of the best team in Japan. It sure sounds like a dream to his younger self.

The practice next day is as though as the one yesterday. But Hinata is still giving his all, and all the practice he's got in Brasil seems to be really paying off.

“Nice Hinata!” Bokuto screams on the other side of the court when Hinata spikes with Atsumu's toss. Hinata beams at the compliment. Even if Bokuto compliments him a lot, it's still very rewarding to be praised by such an amazing player. 

“Thank you!” Hinata screams back, jumping a little in excitement. 

“Hey there. Let's score another one.” Atsumu says, smirking at Hinata and the other gasps dramatically, and jumps even higher. 

“Yes!”

And score many points, they do. A quite surprising duo, these two, is probably what everyone is thinking, but it feels natural for both of them. Atsumu is an excellent setter, and Hinata an excellent spiker, it can only connects between these two. Atsumu can be as fast as Hinata. And even faster than Kageyama, Hinata can't stop himself from thinking. 

“Shouyou, that was great.” Atsumu smiles at him and pats his back.

“Thank you Atsumu!” Hinata replies, still not used to call him Atsumu. 

Atsumu insisted that Hinata calls him that, saying he finds it awkward when people calls him Miya, it still feels as if they are talking about his brother. So Hinata calls him Atsumu, and Atsumu calls him Shouyou. 

“Atsumu! How come you never say that to me?” Bokuto whines as he comes charging towards them, followed by Sakusa who looks as unfazed as always.

“Because!” Atsumu answers pettily, and Bokuto fakes a offended gasp. Hinata knows that they're going to be at it for a while, so he quietly joins Sakusa who's drinking from his water bottle.

“Sakusa! Can you show me your super cool wirst trick again?” Hinata asks, stars in his eyes. Sakusa sighs, but still nods, because no one can say no to Hinata, that must be an existing rule somewhere. 

Once practice ends, they all decide to go grab something to eat together and just hang out at Bokuto's place after, since his appartment is close to the hotel the others are staying in. Plus, he's always trying to invite people over. Hinata feels sorry for his neighbours sometimes. 

They're all sitting on the floor, forming a circle, with pizza and soda in the center. They're supposed to watch what they eat, but sometimes they make an exception, and the pizza place in front of Bokuto's place looked very tempting. Plus, Bokuto offered to pay for everyone, so no one could refuse that. 

“Thank you Bokuto for the food!” Hinata says, as he devours his third slice.

“You've said that eleven times already.” Sakusa remarks, and Tomas nods next to him.

“Shush! Let him say it as much as he wants.” Bokuto's smile widdens.

“You're inflating his ego even more, Shouyou.” Atsumu says next to Hinata.

“Like you're the one to talk!” Inunaki says, pointing his finger at Atsumu. “You're pratically vibrating every time Hinata compliments you.” 

“I am not!” Atsumu yells back. 

“You seem to have struck a nerve.” Sakusa comments calmly. 

“You shut up!” 

They go back and forth like that for a good fifteen minutes, and Hinata has already finished his pizza by then. 

“Should we stop them?” Bokuto asks, as Atsumu starts to strangle Inunaki while Sakusa is recording them. 

“Probably..” Hinata answers, starting to see the way the color is fading off Inunaki's face. 

“You do it.” Bokuto whispers, to which Hinata whines.

“Why me? It's your appartment!” 

“And? I paid for the pizzas..” 

Hinata sighs, knowing he's lost this battle already. He stands up, and looks as scary as he can (which means not really). 

“Atsumu! Stop choking Inunaki!” Hinata says loudly, his hands on his hips, a pout on his face. One look from Atsumu is enough to make him drop Inunaki's throat.

“Good!” Hinata says, still trying to sound intimidating, and now Sakusa is filming him instead. 

Atsumu smirks at Hinata. 

“You know you're not intimidating at all?” He says, while trying to brush through his hair gone crazy due to the fight. “If anything, you look cute.” 

Hinata doesn't dwell on the compliment and more so on the offensive statement.

“I'm very intimidating!” He answers back and stomps his feet to prove his point.

“Nop.” Atsumu says, and everyone nods, even Sakusa who is still holding his phone. 

“You're really not.” Bokuto says, at least looking apologetic about it. 

“Traitor.” Hinata says as he dramatically falls on his knees, clenching his chest. 

“Sorry.” Bokuto says, and ruffles Hinata's hair. 

Finally, the peace is restored, and Atsumu falls back next to Hinata. He puts his arm around his shoulder, squeezing him a little against him. Atsumu is a very tactile person, at least he seems to be, since he's always touching Hinata. Hinata doesn't mind at all, on the contrary, Hinata has always liked physical attention. It comes naturally to the both of them, because they're both very open persons, probably. 

“Sakusa, stop recording!” Meian yells. And the peace is shattered.

Hinata gets back to the hotel pretty late, but it's okay, they have an off day tomorrow. They all walked from Bokuto's appartement since it's only ten minutes to get there. Hinata reaches his room first. 

“Good night Shouyou.” Atsumu says, ruffling his hair like Bokuto did before. They all seem to like my hair, Hinata wonders.

“Good night, Atsumu.”

Everyone tells him good night and he waves at them, before sliding in his room. Ugh, he's so tired. He gets undressed and slips into his bed, trying to find a comfortable position, rolling himself up in his blanket. 

He takes out his phone as he usually do, always checking his social medias before going to sleep. It's a bad habit, he knows it, but it has become a need to do that every night. He checks Instagram first, since it's the app he uses the most. He posts a tons of pictures, of everything and nothing, probably spamming too much. But people seem to enjoy it. He has taken plenty of pictures today, he remembers. Maybe he could publish some. 

Before he can check if any photo taken is worth posting, he goes to his notifications, and a certain username catches his name. 

Huh? Hinata's breath hitches, and his phone suddenly shakes in his hand, only by reading a simple sentence: “kageyamatodio started following you.”

What? Why?

Hinata clicks on the user. He stalks Kageyama's profile pretty often, checking if he posted anything new, but Kageyama is not very active. Which makes him following Hinata even more out of place.

Why now? After everything? 

Hinata gulps, his hand still shaking, and his heart beating so fast that it might just bursts out of his chest. God, you're overreacting, Hinata tells himself, calm down. It's just a follow. It means nothing.

He stays on his account for ten minutes, just staring at it, wondering if he should follow him back. Of course it's the good thing to do, the polite thing, why wouldn't he do it? He moved on, right? At least, that what he wants to make it seem. He breathes out, and quickly clicks the follow back button before putting his phone as far away as possible.

It doesn't mean anything. At all. Hinata repeats to himself, his face smushed in his pillow, ignoring the part of him wanting it to do.

Kageyama was sitting on Hinata's bed, playing with his phone, while Hinata was fighting with his sister, trying get her out of the room.

“But I want to stay!” She cried loudly, and Hinata sighed.

“You can play with Kageyama tomorrow, okay?” 

She didn't seem to want to go anytime soon, but soon enough their mother came and dragged Natsu to her room, not without cries of protestation. Hinata winced when going back on his bed, sitting next to Kageyama.

“Sorry, she seems to like you a lot.” He laughed awkwardly.

Kageyama looked up from his phone. 

“It's fine.” He said plainly, and sat up. “What do you want to do?”

Kageyama didn't go to Hinata's house pretty often. At first, it was even a bit weird to invite him. But they've grown closer to eachother throughout the years, and as they were both in their last years of high school, they easily considered themselves as bestfriends. Hinata tried to be satisfied with that.

“I don't know..” Hinata said, searching for anything they could do together beside watching a volleyball match. 

When they were alone, they tended to only do two things: play volleyball or watch volleyball. But Hinata didn't want that. He loves volleyball, so much, but he wanted to be even closer to Kageyama, to be more than just a bond between two players. Of course they were more than that, but Hinata doubted it sometimes by how often their friendship was centered around volleyball.

“Want to watch a match?” Kageyama said, as he laid down on Hinata's bed.

Hinata hesitated for a second, about to tell him that he wants to do something else, but it didn't matter how much he tried to, he could never say no to Kageyama.

“Sure.” He said laying down next to him. 

Hinata wishes he had practice today. Now, he can't stop thinking about stupid Kageyama following him. He half expected to receive a message in the morning, and he tries not to think of how disappointed he feels when he wakes up to nothing. He wants Kageyama out of his head. It's been years, why can't he move on? 

He tries to let out his frustration by furiously doing push-ups, but then his arms hurt so bad that he has to give it a rest. He sighs, sitting on the hard floor of his hotel room, wondering why he is like this. He's ashamed, to be honest. No one knows that he's still hung up to Kageyama, hell, no one ever knew that he fell in love with him in the first place. Expect him.

Hinata grips his hair, feeling like if he pulls hard enough he could maybe knock some sense into his brain. He's so stupid. So so stupid. Who the hell even fall in love with Kageyama? The boy is an idiot. A beautiful, kind, and impressive idiot. 

Hinata has always felt like that about Kageyama, for as long as he can remember. He just realized that it was what people called love when he was in his third year. And he sometimes wishes he didn't have that realization. Maybe they'll still be best friends today. 

Hinata tries to ignore the painful node in his stomach, and grips on his hair harder. Stupid, stupid, stupid. 

A knock on the door makes him loose his grip a little.

“Shouyou?” 

Hinata recognizes the voice immediately. He breathes out, trying to his best to hide the frustration on his face, and fighting the urge to kick, rip, scratch. The need to run until he passes out in exhaustion, and to pull until all of his hair fall out. He stands up, and slowly walks to the door.

“Yes?” He says, not opening it.

“Um.. It's Atsumu.” Hinata knows that already. “I wanted to know if you would want to eat lunch with me?” 

Hinata doesn't really want to see anyone right now, but the logical part of him knows that being with someone could make a good distraction and make him forget the big mess happening in his head.

He opens the door.

“Yes, of course. I'm coming.” He smiles brightly, forcing himself a little, but it's still sincere. He really enjoys being with Atsumu. 

He changes himself quickly, and joins Atsumu, waiting for him by the door.

“So where are we going?” Hinata asks, as they both walk side by side, Atsumu's arm thrown nonchalantly on Hinata's shoulders.

“There's a good cafe down the street, we could go there?”

“Okay!” Hinata says, already feeling a bit better just being with someone, his mind slowly clearing out.

He hates being alone, so the days where they don't have practice is the hardest on him. Even if all the other members cherish it, he feels out of place by how much he despises it. He hates thinking too much, and he always does everytime he finds himself with no distraction. No volleyball or no teammates to make him think about something else.

But Atsumu is always checking on Hinata on the days off. He doesn't think Atsumu is aware of how much he hates being alone, but he is grateful that he unconsciously helps him go through his bad days.

“So, I told him to fuck off and Sakusa gave me a twenty minutes long lecture on how you should always respect old people. It's nonsense! He was being a dick!” Atsumu huffs out as he stabs his strawberry cake. Hinata hasn't stopped laughing.

“But.. Sakusa has a point..” Hinata says, knowing that it would rile up Atsumu even more. 

The other gaps and point an accusing finger on him.

“Whose side are you one?” He says. “You changed, Shouyou. You're no longer the sweet child you used to be.” Atsumu continues as he sighs dramatically. Hinata laughs even harder.

“I'm not! I'm not innocent anymore!” He says proudly, and Atsumu stops for a second, before raising his eyebrows.

“Mh? Are you really?” Atsumu asks, his voice dropping lower, as he usually does when he's joking with Hinata.

Hinata shakes his head. 

“I'm a grown man now!” Hinata announces proudly, and Atsumu's lip twitches. 

“You're still small though.” He states, and it's Hinata's turn to be offended.

“Men can be short!” He says, louder than before, and a few people on the table beside them turn their heads. He bites in lip in embarassement.

Atsumu laughs, because of course he does, asshole, Hinata thinks strongly as he glares at him.

“You're so cute.” Atsumu ruffles his hair. It has become a habit now.

“I'm not.” Hinata pouts, which probably makes him even cuter. Shit. 

He knows he's considered cute, not handsome. He's been told that many times. Maybe that's the reason Kageyama doesn't love him. Maybe if he was better looking? He wonders. 

“Why are you making that face? It's good being cute.” Atsumu confidently says, eating the last bite of his cake.

Hinata only shrugs, he doesn't really think so.

“I like cute.” Atsumu adds, and Hinata knows that he's messing up with him, but he can't help but be a little flustered at that.

“You like cute cat, cute girls, not cute men.” 

“Wrong.” Atsumu shakes his head. “Cute guys are the best, no one can resist you, you know?” 

Hinata crosses his arms on his chest. 

“It's better to be handsome, don't you think? Like you, for example.” Hinata says, and the satisfied grin on Atsumu's face makes him almost regret it. Almost.

“You think I'm handsome?” He says, a sly smirk on his face.

“Of course you are. Everyone knows that. I'm jealous.” Hinata says angrily, as if he's scolding Atsumu.

Hinata is a very honest person, and he's not the one to hide what he thinks. If he thinks someone is good-looking, he is going to tell them. It's as simple as that. 

“You have nothing to be jealous for.” Atsumu frowns this time, despite the big smile he wore just a second ago. “I mean- look at you!” He gestures awkwardly to Hinata. 

Hinata knows Atsumu is trying to make him feel better, but he's not going to point that out, to his sake. So he just shrugs and laughs.

“It doesn't matter anyway! I'm going to be the best at volleyball! Nothing else matters!” Hinata says, excited again, and Atsumu's frown deepens for a second, before his signature smile is on his face again.

“Of course you are.”

Hinata sat closely to Kageyama, their books on their laps, trying to get their homework done before the bell rang. They were not the best sudents, by far, but they were still trying to get passable grades, even if they were doing it last minute everytime.

“Hinata you idiot! Your third answer is wrong.” Kageyama yelled at him as he went through his exercices. 

Hinata whined. “I'm sorry!” He pouted. Kageyama was a little better at him at maths so he must have been right.

They finished up quickly, and are relieved when they saw that their lunch break wasn't over yet.

“Wow! We're so good at maths!” Hinata beamed, but Kageyama quickly cut him off.

“No. I am good at maths.” He rectified, and Hinata pretends to be offended.

“You're still shit compared to Tsukishima!” Hinata pointed out, and laughed in satisfaction when he saw Kageyama's expression becoming sour. 

They want back and forth, like they always did, before settling that Kageyama was better (but still not good. Better than Hinata means nothing, he said, and Hinata tried to hit him). 

Yachi approached them, her usual grin on her face. 

“Hello Yachi!” Hinata greeted her, and she answered with an even more blinding smile.

“Boys! I'm organizing a little party tomorrow. Nothing crazy, just a few friends, and I hoped you would come.” She said, and Hinata noticed the few papers she was holding. Probably invites. She always did things all the way.

Hinata's eyes widdened at that. It would be his first party. Like in the movies? Excitement rushed through him as he thought about what happened in these movies. It was always the time where the main character became close with their crush! It could be his chance. What if? Oh, if he could spend more time with Kageyama, it would be so much fun-

“I'm not coming, sorry. I have family over.” Kageyama said, shattering the daydream Hinata was having beside him.

“Oh. That's too bad. It's okay! Next time!” Yachi said, still enthusiast, and she looked at Hinata. “And you Shouyou?” 

Hinata's head dropped a bit, and, too afraid to say no to Yachi, he answered with a “I'll talk to my mom about it.”.

And he texted Yachi that night saying that he was sorry but he couldn't come, without even mentionning the party to his mom. 

Bokuto has been planning this party of at least a month now. His appartement is actually too tiny to hold one, so they're doing it over Akaashi's house. 

It's been now a few months since Hinata has joined the Black Jackals, and he will soon be able to play real matches, on T.V, with him being a regular on the team. He's never been this excited before. And Bokuto used that excuse to throw a party. In reality, he just wanted to have one.

Hinata is excited because Kenma is actually coming despite his busy schedule, and it's now been a long time since they saw eachother in person. The whole Black Jackals team is here, except for Sakusa, because now matter how everyone tried to convince him, he absolutely refused to come. Hinata was a bit bummed down about it at first, because he wanted everyone to be here, but he also understood and didn't want to pressure him.

Hinata comes beforehand to help Bokuto and Akaashi with the preparation, as he also brought some food and alcohol. 

“Did they asked your I.D when you bought this?” Akaashi asks Hinata, a teasing smile on his face as he takes the bottles out of his hands.

Hinata fakes an offending gasp at him, but after a few seconds, admits it with a tiny “Yes”. Bokuto's laugh can be heard from down the street, Hinata is sure. 

They quickly prepare everything, chatting about Akaashi's new career as an editor now. 

“It's quiet fun, to be honest.” Akaashi says as he sets everything on the table. 

“It's so weird to see that not everyone pursued volleyball after high school.” Hinata naively admits. “I mean, I know it makes sense! But like.. It's weird. And..We've never got to play against Fukurodani.” Hinata points, looking disappointed.

“It's okay! We're on the same team now, it's even better!” Bokuto smiles as he pats his back. 

“But it's true that it would have been nice to play Karasuno in an official match.” Akaashi says, wonder clear on his face. “I bet we would have crushed you.” He's now smirking.

Hinata protests. “Huh? No! I don't think so! We won against Nekoma!” 

“And? I mean, sure, Kageyama is a total genius but Bokuto would have still rattled up these points.” 

Hinata's stomach squeezes uncomfortably hearing his name. 

“I mean.. Yeah. He would have.” Hinata's now shruging. 

“Speaking of which, Akaashi, do you know that Kageyama plays with the Schweiden Adlers now? With Ushijima! It's crazy.” Bokuto says, excited. 

Hinata tries to slowly step back from this conversation, concentrating on the plastic glasses he was charged to take, when he's forcefully brought back in.

“Hinata, you are pretty close with Kageyama, right? Is he getting better?” Bokuto asks him with obvious interest.

Hinata tries to sound as natural as possible.

“We don't really..talk..anymore.” He simply says, to which Bokuto screams his confusion.

“Huh? But why? You two were inseperable!” 

Hinata shrugs once again, trying very hard to focus on the task as hand and not think about Kageyama. Even though Bokuto is screaming his name, which makes it a bit difficult.

“Stuff happens.” He says, trying to sound unaffected by the whole thing. Bokuto is about to protest once again but Akaashi stops him with only a single look, and Hinata has never been more grateful for him.

An awkward silence follows as they finish setting up everything, and Bokuto shyly approaches Hinata when it's done.

“I'm sorry I insisted! It was not cool for me to do!” Bokuto apologies, an honest regretful look on his face. Hinata smiles at him. He could never be mad at Bokuto, that's for sure.

“It's okay Bokuto! You haven't done anything wrong!” Hinata assures him, and Bokuto nods, smiling big like he always does.

People arrive one by one at the party, filling out the thankfully large house of Akaashi. Hinata doesn't know everyone, but he's quickly found by Atsumu, who calls out his name as soon as he sees him.

“Shouyou!” He screams, to get his attention, and waves at him when Hinata finally looks at him.

He comes over to him, and Hinata notices that Osamu, his brother, is quietly following after him. 

“How are you, little red head?” He says as he gently pats his head. 

“I'm fine! You came with your brother!” Hinata says, excited to see him after so much time.

“Well, I didn't really invite him.” Atsumu is now glaring at Bokuto and Akaashi. “But yeah, he's here I guess.”

“Hello Osamu! Can I call you Osamu? It's okay if I can't. I'm sorry.” Hinata says rapidly, and bows down, trying to apologize for already messing up.

“It's okay, you can call me Osamu.” He smiles at him, and Hinata straighten himself. “But can I call you Shouyou then?” 

“No.” Atsumu immediately replies. 

Hinata doesn't have the time to react that Atsumu drags him by his arm, making him move away from Osamu.

“Shouyou, what do you want to drink?” He asks, turning Hinata's attention back on him again.

“Mh..” Hinata thinks about it for a second. “A beer would be enough. Thanks!” 

Atsumu quickly brings him one and puts his arm on his shoulders as he hands it over. He always does that when he's around Hinata, it seems like.

“Thank you Atsumu!” Hinata says cheerfully as he takes his drink, and Atsumu gives out a satisfied smile to Osamu. The latter only roles his eyes.

“Hey! Stop fighting over my little protegee!” Bokuto says loudly.

“Protegee? You know that word?” Atsumu retorts.

“Fuck you! You're the dumb one in the team!” Bokuto accuses, and it's a bit surprising to hear him curse. He must be quite intoxicated already.

“Come again?” Atsumu screams back at him, and Osamu sighs loudly. 

“Is he still picking a fight every chance he gets?” Osamu whispers to Hinata, as Atsumu is too into the fight to notice them.

Hinata grimaces. “Yes..” 

But it's fun, Hinata thinks. It's harmless banter anyway, and it's always pretty funny, especially when it's these two arguing. 

“I'm so sorry.” Osamu answers, a painful look on his face, and Hinata laughs at the sight.

“It's okay. He's pretty funny.” Hinata says, and Osamu looks at him, suspicious.

“Did you just called Atsumu funny?” 

“Hey! Why are you talking about me?” Atsumu gets back into the conversation, probably hearing his name, or maybe because he has a strange telepathic connection with his twin. Hinata doesn't really know how that works. 

“Hinata just said you're funny.” Osamu says nonchalantly, and Hinata flushes a little bit.

He's always the one to praise Atsumu, because he genuinely thinks he is awesome, but he doesn't want Atsumu to know that he talks highly of him to other people. He would never leave him alone.

“Oh?” Atsumu replies, looking smug, and squeezing Hinata's arm. “Well, you're not wrong.”

Hinata regrets opening his mouth, now Atsumu is never going to let him live that down. 

“Hey Kenma! You heard that? Hinata finds me funny!” Atsumu calls out, and at the mention of his friend's name, Hinata looks up immediately.

Here he is, his hair tied up messily, and looking more tired than Hinata remembers, but his face still lights up when his eyes lay down on Hinata. He then turns to Atsumu, his permanent neutral face quickly back on.

“Hinata finds kids movies funny.” He answers back, and it's now Hinata's turn to protest.

“Kids movies ARE funny!” At that, Atsumu's face twists in a painful expression. “Oh boy, he wasn't even joking.” He says, sighing deeply. 

“Hey! Why are we attacking me now? Atsumu is the enemy!” Hinata says.

“What? Since when?” 

“Okay, stop you two.” Kenma approaches them, and tries to remove Atsumu's arm all over Hinata. “Let Shouyou go so we can hug.” 

Atsumu grumbles at that, but Hinata's eyes light up. Kenma is not a very physical person, and Hinata's not sure if they ever really hugged before. He doesn't have to be told twice as he lauches himself at Kenma, squeezing him into his arms.

“I missed you!” He says, and Kenma laughs, hugging Hinata back.

“Of course you did.” He says softly, and then tries to pry himself out of Hinata's arms after a few seconds. 

“Okay, that's enough now.” He says, and Hinata steps back.

They talk about everything and nothing, mostly about Kenma because Hinata loves making everything about him. He's just very proud of his best friend, and want to show off, what's wrong with that? They talk about Kenma's new jobs, his company, his career as a professional gamer and youtuber, and how he is now sponsoring Hinata. 

“So, he's like your sugar daddy?” Bokuto jokes, still pretty drunk, and Hinata blushes furiously.

“Not at all!” He pouts, and Kenma sends Bokuto a murderous look. 

“I don't need to buy affection, thank you very much.” Kenma answers coldly, and Bokuto's eyes widden.

“So you two are..?” He asks, his eyes running between the two of them.

“No!” They say quickly, now both of them embarassingly red. 

“Stop saying nonsense Bokuto!” Hinata whines, not liking these weird insinuations.

He just shrugs, and changes the subject of the conversation. Hinata sighs in relief, and sends an apologetic look to Kenma.

They talk about volleyball again and the practice match they're having tomorrow against a pretty well known team.

“Kenma!” Akaashi calls him from the other side of the room, as he gestures him to come over. 

Kenma excuses himself to join Akaashi, and Bokuto decides to follow them like a lost puppy, leaving Atsumu and Hinata alone (since Osamu already left to talk with other Black Jackals members, to ruin Atsumu's reputation, according to him). Hinata sips on his beer, sitting on a couch with Atsumu beside him, watching Meian and Tomas trying to do hand stands near the kitchen island. He almost takes his phone out to record but decides against him, already feeling the scolding he would have to endure tomorrow morning by his captain.

“Shouyou?” Atsumu calls him, his voice way closer than before, and Hinata turns his head and notices that Atsumu is, in fact, only a few inches away from his face. 

“Mh?” He asks, trying to not be intimidated by their proximity.

“You're not dating Kenma, are you?” Atsumu asks, his eyes fixated on Hinata's face, making it impossible for him to turn his gaze away from him.

“No!” Hinata says, maybe a little too much on the defensive. He doesn't know why anyone would think they're dating, it's so weird to imagine Kenma this way. 

Atsumu looks at him a bit longer, examinating his face, looking like he's searching for an indication that Hinata is lying, before he slowly nods. 

“Okay.” He only answers, and Hinata is now a bit confused.

“Why?” He asks, and Atsumu is breaking the eyecontact, as Hinata's now the one prying for answers.

“Just curious.” He says, and Hinata doesn't ask any further.

They stay in silent for a long minute, the music seeming now too loud for some reason, and the air too thick. Hinata gets up. 

“I'm going to get some air.” He announces, and he sees Atsumu hesitates for a second.

Hinata undertands that Atsumu wants to come with him. He wanted to go alone, at first, but he wouldn't mind if Atsumu tagged along, after all. 

“You can come, if you want.”

Atsumu stands up immediately, not even thinking about it, and follows Hinata outside. It's colder than Hinata would have thought, but, it's automn after all. However, it feels good to breathe in fresh air. Hinata likes parties, even though he doesn't do it very often, due to his (too) busy schedule. But it can get pretty overwhelming, even for a social butterfly like him. He closes his eyes, and appreciates the way the music sounds like a far away sound, and how the wind is running down his face. 

“It's nice.” Hinata says, not really talking to Atsumu and more to himself. 

Akaashi's house is bit withdrawn from the center of the city. It's surrounded by mostly trees, and Hinata must admit he quite likes the calm atmosphere it brings. He hears Atsumu sitting on the ledge of the balcony, both of them still in silence, but it's not awkward.

Hinata opens his eyes after a few minutes, and look at Atsumu, who's looking at the sky, his brows furrowed. He smiles a little bit at that sight, thinking about how different he looks when he's concentrated. Even when playing volleyball he looks like he doesn't care. 

“What are you thinking about?” Hinata asks, now looking at the sky too, trying to see what Atsumu is seeing.

“Mh..A lot of things.” He answers, vaguely, and Hinata laughs quietly at that.

“I see that.” He comments, and Atsumu tears his eyes away from the stars to look at Hinata. 

“And you?” 

“A lot of things, too.” Hinata answers, and it's now Atsumu's turn to laugh.

“Okay I deserved that.” He says.“You always look like you're always thinking.” He continues. “No one would think so, when first meeting you.” Hinata protests with a little “Hey!” at that but Atsumu continues. “But it seems that you've got a lot on your mind, am I wrong?” 

Hinata didn't realize he let his thoughts drift away that much before, so he's a little surprised by Atsumu's remark. But he guesses he does that pretty often, now. He's a bit ashamed, because he knows what he is thinking about in that moments. Not that he would tell Atsumu. 

“I guess..” Hinata replies, after thinking about it. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Atsumu asks, his back now facing the trees looming over them, all of his attention concentrated on Hinata.

“Not really.” Hinata immediately answers, because absolutely not. He's not going to show how weak he really is to one of his teammate. Plus, it wouldn't do any good. Bringing the past, it's a thing Hinata tries to avoid. Well, how things have been working so far, though? Hinata asks himself bitterly. 

“Okay.” Atsumu says and he puts his hand on the back of Hinata's head, softly petting his hair, carefully, like he's afraid he's going to break.

Karasuno didn't win nationals, even in Hinata's last year. Not once, Hinata had never been able to bring his team to be the ultime winner, he thought bitterly. Maybe if he had practiced more, if he had gotten better at serving, or if he had been able to receive that ball in the third set. He sighed deeply, putting his head in his hands, trying very hard to fight the tears threatening to spill. He was tired of crying everytime they loose, no, he was tired of losing. He wanted to be number one, to bring this team to number one, but no matter how much he tried, it seemed like it was never enough. 

“Hinata.” He heard him calling out his name, and his heart squeezed painfully.

He had failed him. He was not good enough for him. He was going to represent Japan, and Hinata was nothing but a burden to him. He failed the team. It was his fault.

“Hinata.” He repeated, but Hinata refused to lift his head up.

“Hinata dumbass, look at me.” He said, kicking lightly Hinata's leg, and he finally gave in, not capable to say no to Kageyama.

“What?” He said, his voice hoarse even though he didn't cry at all.

“Stop making that face, you're freaking everyone out.” Kageyama said as he sat down next to Hinata on the grass, behind the bus which had been waiting for them to go. 

Hinata just shruged, pretending he didn't care about that even though he didn't want to worry the rest of the team.

Kageyama stayed next to him in silent for a few minutes, and Hinata wanted to ask why he was even here if he didn't want to say anything, but as he thought that, Kageyama finally spoke up.

“It's not your fault, I hope you know that shithead.” Kageyama said, his voice sounding angry but his eyes screaming the contrary. “No one thinks it is.” 

Hinata bite his lip, trying very hard to restrain the tears he has been fighting for a long time already.

“I know-” Hinata said, even though no, he didn't, and Kageyama interrupted him.

“No you don't. You're stupidly easy to read.” Kageyama pointed out. “You should try to hide it a bit more, if you're going to lie about it.” 

Hinata didn't know what to answer, so he only nodded, his eyes fixated on his lap. 

“Let's go home, okay?” Kageyama said, as he stood up, and offered a hand to Hinata.

He looked up at him, and then at his hand, and he couldn't fight it anymore. Tears finally come out of his glossy eyes, as he took Kageyama's head to stand up. 

“Yes, let's go.” He said, not letting go of Kageyama's hand, and, for the first time, Kageyama didn't complain. 

The party seems to have brough Atsumu and Hinata closer. Hinata doesn't really know why, nothing special really happened, but for some reason, now, they're always together. Or, more accurately, Atsumu is never leaving his side. Hinata is not complaining, he really loves being with him. Hinata feels comfortable with anyone, really, but Atsumu brings out a new level of comfortable in him. He feels like he could say anything, be anyone, and Atsumu would still stays. It's a reassuring thought.

They're both in Atsumu's bed, on his phone, trying to watch some of the big games happening right now. It's always good to gauge out the competition, they must be prepared for anything, after all.

“This number 7 is crazy.” Atsumu says, in awe, and Hinata quickly nods. The number 7 is a bit small, but taller than Hinata, and he's always moving. Receiving the ball, and then spiking it a second after, it's quite mindblowing. I want to do that, he thinks, excited. 

“He reminds me of you.” Atsumu points at that, and Hinata's eyes sparkle at that. 

“Really?” It's a great compliment, the player is insanely good.

“Yeah. But you're better.” Atsumu smirks, nudging Hinata in the side. Hinata blushes, not really expecting the compliment.

“Thank you! I'm gonna be even better in the future!” Hinata promises, sounding sure of himself, always making it impossible to think he could have any doubt or insecurity.

They finish the game, and the team with number 7 wins with two sets. Hinata hopes he could face him one day. He wants to play them, right now.

“Ugh, now I want to practice!” Hinata whines, his body urging to spike a ball with all he's got.

Atsumu laughs and puts down his phone, as he rolls on his side to face Hinata. 

“You never get tired, don't you?” He says slyly, and Hinata shakes his head.

“I do sometimes.” He replies, remember the match against Kamomedai in his first year. Not a great reminder. 

“I hope so, I wouldn't believe you're human otherwise.” Atsumu says, and Hinata laughs.

“People called me a freak in high school.” At that Atsumu frowns. “In a nice way!” Hinata continues, making the frown go away.

“I mean.. Maybe I thought you were bit of freak, too.”

“Huh?” Hinata asks, surprised. “Is that why you wanted to toss to me so bad?” Hinata teases, and starts imitating Atsumu with his low voice and accent. “I'm going to toss to ya, one of these days!” He laughs when Atsumu starts hitting him.

“Stop laughing! It sounded cool!” Hinata can't miss the way Atsumu's face is going red. It wasn't really embarrasing back then, at all, of course Hinata thought it was cool. But now he loves to use to tease Atsumu, and it works everytime.

“Plus, I was right, no?” 

Hinata smiles and nods. Yeah, he was right.

“I'm happy you were.” Hinata comments honestly, because truly, he's so glad he's friend with Atsumu now. He felt so lonely in Brasil, and going back to Japan was actually scary, he was afraid most of his friends would have forgotten about him at that point. But he joined the Black Jackals and found there friendships he didn't expect.

Atsumu doesn't reply right away, and slowly approaches Hinata, putting his hand in his hair, slowly petting it, and Hinata's eyes close, loving the feeling of Atsumu playing with his hair.

“I'm glad too.” Atsumu says, his voice dropping a bit, and Hinata feels shivers down his spin for some reason.

“You sure touch my hair a lot.” Hinata comments, letting out an awkward laugh and at that Atsumu's hand still. “Don't stop, please.” He adds quickly, not wanting to lost the feeling of his hand in his hair.

“You like that?” Atsumu asks, almost whispering, even though the answer is obvious.

Hinata hums, because there's no point denying how good it feels. Atsumu continues, and Hinata, despite being so full of energy a minute ago, feels himself getting sleepy.

“Hey, don't fall asleep.” Atsumu says, and at that, Hinata opens an eye.

“Why?” 

“You're in my room.” Atsumu answers, as if it explains anything. Hinata groans.

“I don't want to go back to my room.” He feels too tired to move right now.

Atsumu doesn't reply, and Hinata is suddenly afraid he is asking too much, but then he comes closer, his chest almost touching Hinata's arm.

“Okay.” He accepts, and Hinata smiles in content, as he inches a bit closer to Atsumu, making their bodies touch. He falls asleep a few minutes after, feeling warm. 

Two days after, Hinata realizes that Atsumu likes him.

It's a weird way to suddenly notice that someone likes you, why now, out of all the times, but Hinata can't be mistaken. He wishes he was wrong, of course, but he feels like he's not.

Hinata has been feeling bad all day, his stomach aching really badly, and on top of that his headache wouldn't just leave him alone. He called sick on practice, knowing now that he should not push his limits too much. He's going to rest today, and tomorrow's going to be fine. He'll just sleep all day, it would be enough. 

However, his plans are crushed when his door is being opened suddenly, making him jump a little..

“What the..” He starts to say, his heart not liking the sudden bang of the door against his wall, when he notices Atsumu's at the door, holding two full bags of groceries, and looking like he just ran a marathon.

“Atsumu?” He asks, surprised to see him here. “What are you doing here?” 

Atsumu should be in practice by now, what is he doing? 

“I've come to take care of you!” He says, after taking a whole minute to breath normally again. 

Hinata makes a confused noise at that.

“You're missing practice!” He says, and it sounds like a reproach, but Atsumu doesn't take any offense in it.

“Yep!” He answers, not bothered at all, as he starts taking out everything he's bought of his bags. “I've brought you soup! It should be good for you stomach, right? I don't really know. Anyway, I've also bought cookies but I don't know if you can eat anything.. So.. I guess I just bought it for me.” 

“Atsumu..” Hinata stops him, and the latter lift his head, and smiles at Hinata.

“Yes?” 

“You're really missing practice for me?” He asks, still not believing how could anyone miss practice just to take care of him.

“Of course!” He answers without a second thought, and then adds. “You're more important than volleyball, you know.” 

Hinata's breath hitches at that, not expecting these words to ever come out of Atsumu's mouth. More important than volleyball? 

Oh. 

Hinata doesn't really know how to feel about it at first, maybe he's wrong after all? But he then notices just how close Atsumu is always to him, how many times he touches him in only a single day, or even the way he looks at him. There's no missing it. Hinata's heart aches at the thought, in a way it has never before. It's different from the way he feels when he thinks about Kageyama, about that day. No, he can't tell if it's more painful, but it makes him want to throw up. 

Atsumu can't like him. He shouldn't like him. Why does he even like him? He's so handsome, funny, actually very kind and intelligent, and the list could go on forever, and Hinata is just a dumbass in love with his high school bestfriend, who he doesn't talk to anymore. Atsumu doesn't deserve that, Hinata thinks. He knows how it feels, and he doesn't want Atsumu to feel like that, too. 

Hinata comes to the conclusion that Atsumu can't like him. He must stop liking him, before Hinata hurts his feelings. It's the last thing he wants to do. However, he doesn't know how to do this. He doesn't want to avoid Atsumu, at all, it wouldn't be fair to him. And Hinata has grown so attached to him, he can't just let that go. He doesn't want to.

Kenma calls him late at night, one day, while Hinata is feeling a bit down. Kageyama has posted a new picture with Hoshiumi, and he looks really good in it. How can he look even better now? It's not fair. He has been looking at it for too long, probably just torturing himself at this point, to the point he starts feeling his eyes sting, almost not blinking. He debates taking a screenshot of it, and keeping it to himself, even thought it's a public photo, but he decides against it. It would be a bit creepy, wouldn't it? He's about to leave his page, thinking that he should stop at this point, when he accidently double taps the picture. Liking the picture. 

Oh no. 

Hinata is about to take back his like immediately, but he realizes that it would be even weirder, and just exposes himself for stalking Kageyama. He's so stupid. 

He's rethinking every life choices he's ever made when Kenma calls him. He's not expecting it, at all, and quickly picks it, afraid something bad has happened, pushing aside his inner crisis.

“Kenma? Are you alright?” He asks. Kenma is not the type to call out of nowhere.

“Yes I'm alright, why?” He says, his voice sounding confused, and Hinata breathes out in relief. 

“Why are you calling then? Not that I'm complaining..” 

“I wanted to talk about Animal Crossing.” Kenma says, and Hinata actually laughs a bit at that. Of course he would.

Kenma starts talking about his island and how he wants a certain villager or whatever, Hinata doesn't really know how to play the game, but he still likes hearing Kenma gush over it. He's not really the one to talk a lot usually, so no matter what he's talking about, Hinata would always find it interesting. 

But Hinata can't stop thinking about everything that's going on right now. Atsumu liking him, Kageyama. Kageyama who just wouldn't leave his mind, and the way his feeling don't seem to get any weaker as time passes.

“Shouyou?” He hears Kenma calling.

“Mh? Yes I'm here sorry.” He says. “I'm listening.” 

“Shouyou..” Kenma repeats. “Are you okay?” 

Hinata's taken aback by the sudden question, and quickly answers. 

“Yes, of course. Why?” 

But it doesn't seem to really convince Kenma.

“Are you sure?” He pries, and Hinata bites his lip, starting to feel his eyes watering again.

“Yes..” He says, this time a bit less convinced himself.

“You can talk to me about anything, you know that?” Kenma says softly, and Hinata nods, not able to talk right now, feeling something in his throat, even though it's useless since Kenma can't see him.

“I'm here, Shouyou.”

At that, Hinata can't help himself and tears start falling down him face. At first it's only a few, but then Hinata starts sobbing, and the heavy feeling in his throat gets more prominent. His heart hurts badly, making him crunche down on himself. He tries to be as quiet as possible, but he knows it's no use. Kenma says shushing things to him, telling him that it's okay to cry, that he's here for him, and Hinata can't comprehend everything that he is saying, his head aching so bad by how much he's crying.

He cries for a while. He doesn't really know how long, but he's aware of how annoying it must be for Kenma, who just refuses to hang up on him. He starts calming down, and he breathes out, his eyes seeming to have no tears to spill anymore. He doesn't even know why he broke down right now, or what really set it, but everything seemed suddenly just to overwhelming, too suffocating.

“Shouyou..” Kenma says, when he hears that Hinata has stopped being crying. Hinata is embarassed to have exposed this side of him to his best friend. He's supposed to be the always happy friend, that why people like him, no?

“I'm sorry.” He says, his voice hoarse now, barely souding like him anymore.

“Dont be.” Kenma reassures him. “It's okay.” 

Hinata doesn't really believe so, but he doesn't say anything.

He stays silent for almost a minute, thinking, debating with himself, when he decides to just let it out.

“Kenma.”

“Yes?” Kenma answers immediately.

“I'm in love with Kageyama.” Hinata blurts out, and it's the first time he's ever said it out loud, but the words are rolling easily on his tongue, like he's used to it. Kenma doesn't reply at first, and Hinata feels suddenly guilty for putting his burden on his friend.

“I'm sorry, Shouyou.” Kenma says, because he knows Kageyama and Hinata haven't talked to eachother in years now. Hinata never explained to him the real reason of their falling out, he just said that it happened, the way things do.

“I'm here.” Kenma repeats, probably not knowing how to cheer him up. Nothing can at this point, so Hinata is just glad Kenma is trying. It must be difficult for him, too, Hinata knows how awkward Kenma is socially.

“I know.” Hinata says, because he does. Kenma has always been here for him. “It just sucks.” Hinata admits, there's no other way to put it.

“Does he know?” Kenma asks.

“Yes.” Hinata says.

Another silence.

“He doesn't know what he's missing, then.” Kenma says, and Hinata actually laughs at that. 

“I guess..” He says, not wanting to fight him on that. “Thank you, Kenma.”

Things don't really change with Atsumu. Hinata doesn't allow it to change. Atsumu is still clingy, and Hinata still likes it, despite the guilty feeling he feels in the pit of his stomach when Atsumu stares a second too much, or when he feels his touch getting a bit dary, sometimes. But Hinata doesn't say anything, and acts like he doesn't notice. He knows it's not really fair to Atsumu, but he can't distance himself. He doesn't want to lose a friend again. He cares too much about him, to the point he's being selfish.

They had a match against a team in a city a little far from where they're staying at the moment. It was a bit last minute, but it was against a really good team, so there was no way they could deny the opportunity. It's now night, and they are all pretty tired, and still have a three hours ride to make to go back home. Hinata enters the bus, his muscles aching, just wanting to sit. He decides to go in the far back. He sits down, and Atsumu takes the place next to him, not asking him if he could, it's a bit of a habit of theirs now to sit next to eachother everytime they take the bus. 

“I'm so tired.” Atsumu complains, as he stretches his arms. 

Hinata hums in agreement. 

“Do you want to sit next to the window?” Hinata offers, and Atsumu shakes his head. 

“No, it's fine.” 

Hinata puts down his bag under his legs, and puts his head against the window, looking at the sun setting, creating a pretty pink color in the sky. He's too tired to take a picture of it, or else he would have.

“Want a cookie?” Atsumu offers, and Hinata beams at that.

“You're the best.” He says as he takes it.

“I know.” Atsumu smirks, and Hinata is not in the right to fight him about that.

Hinata bites into his cookie, his eyes drifting off to the view outside once again. Despite his body hurting, he feels really good. Tired, but in a good way. He closes his eyes, and tries enjoying all the rest he can.

A hand on his knee startles him a bit, but he doesn't react that much. Atsumu being touchy isn't new to him. The hand starts slowly massaging his knee, and Hinata hums in appreciating. He feels Atsumu's hand still for a second, before continuing. 

His hand is going up his thigh, carefully. Oh, that's new. Hinata doesn't complain thought, it feels good, and his thighs are feeling really sore right now, so anything could help. He settles himself a bit comfortably in his seat.

But the hand still goes up, and Hinata starts to feel shivers he's sure he's not supposed to feel from a massage. It's.. unsual, to say the least. Hinata doesn't dare opening his eyes or ask Atsumu what he's doing. But he's internally panicking, a little. What is he doing? In the bus? Well, it's only a hand on his thigh, but it's moving its way dangerously high, and pressing in a way Hinata thinks shouldn't make him feel like that.

He bites his lip, trying hard to concentrate on other things, but his mind is too focused on the way his now inner thigh is being caressed, and how his skin startes to tingle at the touch. Oh god, what do I do? Should I stop him? Hinata panicks. But he's not doing anything wrong, is he? And it doesn't feel wrong.. It even feels too good, in a weird way. 

He unconsciously opens up his leps only a tiny bit more, getting himself overwhelmed by his touch, and he's sure Atsumu noticed. This is so embarassing. I should stop him, Hinata thinks, like right now. Please, stop him. 

His hand continues palming his thigh through the jeans, throughfully, and Hinata starts to think he's not the only one who's starting to feel aroused. And at that moment, he can't stop his mind from suddenly thinking about Kageyama, imagining his hand on him, and his legs suddenly jerk up. The hand quickly leaves his thigh, the moment breaks.

“Atsumu!” Bokuto yells, making both of them go back to earth. “Tell Sakusa he's being a dickhead!” 

“Shut up Bokuto!” Atsumu yells, and Hinata feels weird hearing his voice now, too scared to open his eyes again. He shifts a bit towards the window, bringing his knees up to his chest, the weird feeling not leaving him. 

Hinata and Atsumu don't really talk for the rest of the ride. Hinata pretends to be asleep, but he suspects Atsumu from seeing through his act, even though he's not saying anything. The three hours pass slowly, and when they finally arrive, Hinata opens his eyes, and looks at Atsumu, the other already looking at him.

He can't help but flushes immediately, the embarasment he's been fighting for the whole ride rushing back again the moment he layed his eyes on him.

“Excuse me.” Hinata says as he gets up quickly, taking his bag and passing by Atsumu, getting off the bus as fast as possible.

He only feels safe when he's in his room, the door locked, and he sighs. What is he doing? He shouldn't let Atsumu on. He's being an idiot right now. And.. He thought of Kageyama. For a split second, but it's enough to make him feel sick in the stomach. 

He showers quickly, even though he already took one just after practice, feeling the need to clean himself. 

He lays down on his bed, his brain not shutting up and still replaying what happened earlier in his mind. A strange feeling of arousal, guilt, and digust in himself makes Hinata wants to stop thinking altogether.

He decides to go on his phone to try to distract himself. And he regrets it immediately, when he sees that he has a message from Kageyama. His heart drops in his stomach, and he quickly clicks on the conversation. They haven't talked to eachother in years. It happened gradually, since the last day of high school. Hinata left for Brasil, and only talked to Kageyama from time to time, feeling the need to distance himself from him. He felt guily, he still does, and he wishes back then he realized he was being selfish. Maybe he wouldn't have lost his best friend. And then, one day, Kageyama stopped texting him. And it ended like that. An anticlimatic end, making Hinata wants to scream at his younger self for being so stupid. But after a while, it felt too wrong to go back to him, to try to apologize. So he never did. And now, Kageyama is messaging him. 

"Hey Hinata, It's been a while. How are you?"

Hinata reads it again, and again, making sure his eyes are not deceving him. Kageyama. Kageyama messaged him. He feels like crying. Just reading his message, the crushing feeling of loss he has felt all this time comes down all at once, and he realizes just how much he's been missing him. His hands shake as he answers.

"Hi Kageyama! I'm good, and you?"

He tries to act casual, even though he feels like his heart could stop beating at any moment. Kageyama answers immediately.

"I'm good, too :)  
I saw you got into the Black Jackals. I'm happy for you. Hoshiumi can't stop talking about you, I hope we play against eachother one of these days."

Hinata now can't stop smiling, his cheeks starting to hurt, but he can't just believe it. Kageyama wants to face him again. Kageyama wants to see him. And just by that, all memories of this aftertoon leaves Hinata's mind as he spends the night talking to Kageyama, a warm feeling in his chest.

It was the last day of highschool.They were both standing one last time in the gym, where everything began for them. And it was the end, they had to part ways. Hinata felt the urge to do something, to clung on longer on this feeling. He didn't want to let go of Kageyama. He didn't want to leave him. A sudden urgency seized him and he spilled out the words he has been thinking for months now.

“I'm in love with you”

It was silent. Hinata heard the echo of his own words, as he looked at Kageyama in the eyes. It was too late, he said it, it was out in the open now. He had never planned to blur it out like that, but it became so strong that he couldn't contain it anymore. And for just a second, he felt hope. Maybe.. Maybe Kageyama liked him back? Even just a little? It would have been enough. 

Hinata watched as Kageyama looked at him, surprise the first thing he could read on his face. He didn't say anything for a while, and Hinata felt himself start to buzz with impatience and anxiety. 

“Please say something.” Hinata said, nervously. 

Kageyama's surprising face started to face, and Hinata was not sure if it was good or not. He couldn't read Kageyama.

“I.. I don't. Feel the same way, I mean.” He said calmly, and for the first time ever, Hinata hated how straighfoward Kageyama was. It was better this way, to rip off the bandage in one take, his mother always told him, but Hinata hated it. He even hated himself, just for a moment. Hated that he thought he could stand a chance. Of course you didn't, stupid Hinata.

“Oh.” He only let out, not really able to say anything else. Not really realizing that he just got rejected, that he told Kageyama he loved him. That he fucked everything up. “Okay.” He continued, trying hard to fight the tears forming in his eyes. “I'm sorry, that was embarassing.” He laughed, out of nervousness. 

“Hinata..” Kageyama started, and Hinata shook his head.

“No, don't bother. It's okay.” Hinata insisted, but it clearly wasn't, and Kageyama wasn't that obvious to not notice.

“I'm sorry.” Kageyama said, souding genuine, and Hinata hated even more the fact that even now, he couldn't really despise him. He could never.

“I need to be alone.” Hinata said, because he didn't want to cry in front of Kageyama.

Kageyama hesistated a second, before nodding, leaving Hinata all alone in the gym. 

Hinata sat down and the tears never came. 

A week later, he was on a plane to Brasil.

Hinata is pretty happy, lately. His team is doing really well, coming together and completing eachother in a way that makes Hinata itches to get back on the court. He wants to show how strong they are to everyone, out of pride but also out of respect for his team's hardwork. 

He's talking to Kageyama. On a daily basis. He realizes now just how much he's been aching for him, and how happy and full he feels now that he's back in his life. Obviously, he knows that Kageyama still doesn't love him back. Kageyama probably thinks Hinata is over it at this point, and just wants to go back to friends, which is fine with Hinata. He knows how much he has lost in the past, and he doesn't want to lose it again. Being friend with Kageyama is better than not talking to him at all.

The only downside of it all, is that Atsumu and Hinata don't really talk to eachother anymore, since the bus accident. Hinata doesn't dare adress it, and he is too embarassed to face Atsumu without being way too awkward. Atsumu is not really much better: he tries to avoid Hinata, and the whole thing is plumming down Hinata's mood. He knows he should talk to him, break the ice, but he's afraid of what Atsumu could say, or confess to him. It's not something Hinata wants to face right now, when he finally feels his life coming together. But he can't go on without talking to Atsumu, it doesn't feel right, and the whole team knows that something is going on. Hinata knows it's getting on their nerves too. 

They're practicing when Sakusa is the first one to snap.

“Fucking hell, just talk to eachother! What's going on with you two?” He almost yells at the end of a match, and it's the first time Hinata has ever heard him get angry. Hinata lowers his gaze in shame, knowing that they really should get their shit together before it affects their teamwork. 

The gym is silence, everyone probably too stunned to see Sakusa this shaken up, but Meian breaks it. 

“I have noticed that you two have acted hostile towards eachother in the past days.” Meian starts, and Hinata doesn't feel it ending well. “I don't want to pry into things that are not my concern, but, I think you two really need to have a talk. Right now. Go.” He finishes, and Hinata doesn't want to but he doesn't want to disobey his captain.

Atsumu complains, at first, but Sakusa pushes him towards the exit of the gym, where Hinata is already headed, and then closes the door loudly once they're outside.

It's way too silence, Hinata is starting to feel anxious.

“So..” Atsumu says, since Hinata obviously isn't going to talk first. “This is awkward.”

Hinata only nods, and it's the first interaction they had in a few days.

Another deadly silence, that this time Hinata is the one to break.

“I think we're making it awkward for no reason.” He says, trying very hard to avoid talking about the elephant in the room. 

“Yeah..” Atsumu agrees. “And..I miss talking to you, to be honest..” Atsumu confesses, avoiding looking at Hinata. 

Hinata smiles sincerely.

“Me too.” Hinata says, and Atsumu lifts his head at that. “So let's just forget it, okay?” 

Atsumu hesistates for a second, but finally nods, and Hinata feels relief rushes over him. 

“Okay, great. Nice. Perfect.” 

“You're the one making it awkward now.” Atsumu comments. 

“Hey! I'm trying!” 

Just like that, they're now talking to eachother again. They try very hard to ignore the bit of awkwardness in the beginning, but it slowly starts to fade, and Hinata can now forgets it ever happened, and buries the thought that it obviously still means something to both of them, despite it all. 

The match against Schweiden Adlers is very soon, and Hinata is almost vibrating with excitement. He's going to see Kageyama again. After all these years. They've been excitedly texting eachother when they knew they were facing eachother, both too impatient. Hinata has regain a certain type of intimacy with Kageyama that he's been missing, that makes him feel complete again. In two weeks, they're going to see eachother.

“What are you so happy about?” Atsumu asks one day, with the whole team sitting in his room, playing cards in the middle of the night. “I mean, you always look happy, but these days..” He trails off, and Bokuto lifts his hand up.

“I know!” He says proudly. “Because we're facing Kageyama's team soon!” 

Hinata blushes a little. He told Bokuto that him and Kageyama are talking to eachother again. Well, he told pratically everyone who knew about their fall out, too excited not too. Hinata can't keep his mouth in his pocket. But he didn't think Bokuto would read him so easily.

“Ah.” Atsumu grimaces.

“Ah! It's true that Kageyama is the number one setter, right now.” Bokuto laughs loudly, and if looks could kill, Bokuto would be gone by now. 

“I'm going to surpass the kid.” Atsumu announces, determination clear on his face.

“Well, I also want to crush Kageyama! Let's do it together!” Hinata almost screams, too excited. Atsumu grins, and fist bumps Hinata. 

“I count on you.” He says, and he never says anything if he's not thinking it, so Hinata's heart warms at the trust Atsumu is putting into him. 

“I count on you, too.” He smiles widely, and at that moment, Atsumu only has eyes for Hinata.

“You can count on me too!” Bokuto says loudly, standing up and fist bumping his own chest.

“Bokuto, sit down. You're ruining their moment.” Sakusa says blantly, and Bokuto pouts, but sits down nonetheless. 

Atsumu and Hinata don't even register Bokuto's imput, still smiling at eachother, and Sakusa fake gags at that.

“Please get a room.” He says, and at that the two of them turn to him, confused.

“Sakusa! I thought we shouldn't ruin their moment!” Bokuto whines.

“Yes, but it was getting disgusting.” Sakusa answers, as he puts down his card, making him win the game. “I win.” 

“Not fair!” Tomas screams, throwing his cards at him. 

They're too busy fighting to notice the feint blush on both Atsumu and Hinata, now avoiding to look at eachother.

Hinata can't deny it, he does feel some kind of way towards Atsumu. First the bus accident, now blushing everytime their hands touch by accident or when Atsumu compliments him. The feeling of warmness and confort when they're alone together. The way Atsumu treats Hinata. The way Atsumu looks at Hinata. He can't deny it, he's starting to like it. But he's afraid he's liking it for the wrong reasons. And his feelings for Kageyama are too strong, too deep into him that he can't just overlook them. He knows he has a chance with Atsumu, but that wouldn't be fair to him to try something he would prefer to have with someone else, even if he likes him a little.

Ugh, love is complicated, Hinata thinks as he's laying down on his hotel room's bed, the night before the match against the Schweiden Adlers. It's not the time to think about it. Even though it's a bit complicated to ignore when he's going to see Kageyama for the first time in years tomorrow. He wonders if it's going to be awkward, since they've only been texting for a few weeks now. Probably, at first, but Hinata thinks it would be alright.

He's not worried about Kageyama knowing about his feelings. They don't talk about it, actually, it's like Kageyama completely forgot about it. He didn't, obviously, but it's ancient history for him. Hinata couldn't be still in love with him after all these years, he probably thinks. Which is pretty stupid, because if you know Hinata, you're aware he's not the one to really move on from these types of things. But Kageyama is probably whishing he did, and Hinata would never admit that he didn't. 

A knock on his door. Hinata is not startled, already knowing who it is. They always hang out the night before a big game. The door opens, and Atsumu quietly comes in.

“Hey.” Hinata says, shifting to the side of his bed to let space for Atsumu to lay next to him. Which he does, a small smile on his face.

“Hey little red head.” Atsumu says, his voice quiet, like he's been sleeping even though Hinata knows he didn't. “You're nervous?”

“Not really.” Hinata admits, because he's not. He has this weird feeling of calmness everytime before a game now, and it's a huge change from high school. Plus, he's not that scared of meeting Kageyama again. More excited, he would say. 

“Good. I need you at your best.” Atsumu winks, and Hinata scoffs.

“I'm always at my best.” Hinata says, cockily, and Atsumu makes an offended gasp at that.

“Why are you stealing my lines?”

Hinata laughs, and drops his head in his pillow. Atsumu is so close. 

“It sounds cooler when I do it.” Hinata continues, a playful smirk on his face. Atsumu grimaces at him, like a child would, and turns his back to Hinata, making him only laugh louder. 

“Hey, turn around.” Hinata says, but Atsumu doesn't listen.

Hinata approaches him and puts his hand on his shoulder, forcefully turning him to face him again. 

“Ugh, okay.” Atsumu says as he lets Hinata turn him. “You love me way too much, it's embarassing.” 

“Like you're one to talk.” Hinata says slyly, and tries very hard not to think about the fact that what they're doing is totally flirting.

Atsumu's hair is a bit of a mess at night, but Hinata likes it. He wants to run his hand through it, but he restrains himself. Atsumu is very handsome in general, to be honest. His bright eyes and the lazy smile he always wears. Hinata would be an idiot to not see how attractive he is. 

“See. You say that and then you stare at me like you want to jump on me.” Atsumu says, and Hinata actually blushes at that because, well, maybe there is a part of truth in this. 

“Shut up.” He says, and Atsumu's smile widden at that. 

“Oh? Maybe you really want to.” Atsumu continues, and Hinata is blushing so hard that he's sure Atsumu can clearly see it.

“Never.” Hinata says, even though his expression gives him away.

“Smell like lying in here but I won't pry too much into that..” He says playfully, and Hinata wants to strangle him. In a I want you dead way, not a horny way. Not at all. 

“Good.” Hinata only answers, wanting this conversation to end. 

But Atsumu is still smiling like a little shit, so Hinata knows that he knows, and it makes him frustrated with both him and himself, for feeling and thinking too loudly, maybe letting him on when he shouldn't. Atsumu brings his hand up Hinata's face, and brushes slowly the hair he has in front on his eyes to the side, making the tension in the room shifts, and Hinata just stares at him, not doing anything, not pushing him away.

“Shouyou..” Atsumu starts, and Hinata's heart drops a bit at this. 

“Yes?” He says, not really knowing what to expect. 

“You're pretty when you blush.” 

Hinata's breath itches, and his heart's now beating a bit louder, and a bit quicker than it was before. He doesn't know if it's out or nervousness or something else. He stumbles a bit upon his words, suddenly super self-aware of Atsumu's eyes on him. Of the way he looks at him. 

“Thank you..” He succeeds to let out, and it seems to be enough for Atsumu.

He shouldn't do that. He shoudn't do that. 

“Shouyou, you know I love you, right?”

The vase just shattered, spilling all its content on the floor, making the room quiet. His whole body stills, expect for his heart beating now loud enough for Atsumu to hear it, and his hands subtly shaking. Hinata looks at Atsumu, alarmed, and he can't say that he doesn't know. He knows. He has known for a long time, and he hasn't done anything about. He didn't reject him. He flirted back. He let him touch him. Even though he can't offer him what he wants. Hinata feels his eyes watering, and he wants to scream at himself for wanting to cry again when everything is his fault. 

“Shouyou? Are you okay?” Atsumu says, souding panicked, and Hinata quickly nods, not wanting to worry Atsumu. 

“I'm sorry.” He sniffles, and blinks rapidly, trying to make the tears go away before he embarasses himself.

But Atsumu still looks worried, and Hinata hates himself for making him worry when he's going to be the one rejected. He sniffles quite a few times, and Atsumu picks up tissues lying on his nightstand. Hinata takes it, with a small “thank you”. 

“I probably said something wrong, I'm sorry Shouyou..” Atsumu says, looking guilty and Hinata quickly shakes his head.

“You didn't say anything wrong. It's just me.. I'm..” Hinata shakes his head again, not really knowing how to describe how he's feeling right now. 

“It's okay. You didn't do anything wrong either.” Atsumu conforts him, and it makes Hinata wants to cry even more. He doesn't deserve him. He would never.

“Atsumu..” Hinata says.

“You don't have to justify yourself, I promise.” Atsumu says, now gripping Hinata's hand, the frown on his face not leaving.

“I.. I want to.” Hinata promises, and at that Atsumu nods. 

“Okay.” He only answers, not rushing him.

Hinata breathes deeply. He owns it to Atsumu to at least answer. Atsumu slowly strokes the back of Hinata's hand.

“Yes. I mean, I knew you liked me. I've known for quite a while, now..” Hinata admits, a bit ashamed in himself. Atsumu's hand stills.

“Oh.” Atsumu answers, and then laughs awkwardly. “Guess I'm pretty obvious then.” 

Hinata laughs a little at that, and nods.

“Yeah you are.” 

“Heh! Don't make fun of me.” Atsumu is pouting now, and Hinata finds it cute.

“I'm not.” Hinata assures him, because he clearly isn't. “But I have something to tell you.”

Hinata sees the way Atsumu's face drops a little. It's barely there, but Hinata notices it, and it makes his stomach squeezes painfully.

“What is it, Shouyou?” He asks softly. Hinata gulps with difficulty.

“I.. I think that..I'm in love with someone else.” Hinata says, because there's no any other way to put it. He can't say he doesn't like him back, because he feels like it would be lying, but he can't love him, when there's someone else.

Atsumu doesn't answer right away, and just stares at Hinata blankly for a few seconds. Hinata's whole body starts to shake with nervousness. 

“Okay.” Atsumu finally answers after a few seconds of silence. Hinata doesn't know what to do. He doesn't know how to comfort him. 

They stay in silence for at least a minute, and Hinata tries to seek out a reaction, but Atsumu's face remains blank.

“Are you dating that person?” Atsumu finally asks.

“No.” He immediately answers, because it would have been so much worse if he was dating Kageyama. 

Atsumu frowns at that. 

“Are they fucking dumb?” He asks, startling Hinata. 

“What?” 

“I mean, why are they not dating you? Do they realize how lucky they are?” Atsumu is starting to sound angry now, but not at Hinata. Hinata finds himself speechless.

“I.. I don't know..” Hinata answers, a bit confused by this reaction, not expecting that at all.

“Do they even know?” Atsumu asks. 

“..Yes.” Hinata admits, and at that Atsumu shakes his head in disbelief.

“Then they're a fucking moron. Who could not like you back.” Atsumu says, frustrated, frowning deeply and Hinata again feels like he could cry right now. Atsumu likes him that much? 

“Atsumu..” Hinata says, but Atsumu cuts him, now looking right at him in the eyes.

“Shouyou. I'm not mad at you.” He admits, slowly, and Hinata feels himself getting lighter just by hearing these words. “It's not your fault you can't love me back, do you hear me? Don't ever cry again for something stupid like that.”

Hinata can't help himself and takes him into his arms, pressing him close, the closer he can. He doesn't even know how to react to that. How can Atsumu..be like that..to someone like him. Atsumu puts his head on Hinata shoulder and hugs him back, slowly strocking his back. They stay like that for a few minutes, neither of them daring to move, too comfortable in eachother's arms.

“I'm so sorry.” Hinata says, his voice muffled by Atsumu's shoulder.

“Don't be.” Atsumu says, calmly, and Hinata only nods, but can't help the feeling of guilt submerging him. “Never be sorry about something you can't control, okay?” 

“Okay.” Hinata answers, and stays like that, in the arms of the man whose heart he just broke.

They wake up early, and prepare themselves to go to the match Hinata was longing for, but he doesn't feel that excited anymore, the weight of what happened yesterday still crushing down on him. Atsumu acts like usual, and hugs Hinata first thing in the morning. Yesterday, they stayed together quite a bit, without really talking it out or about anything, really, and then Atsumu went back to his room. Like nothing happened. Hinata doesn't know what he did to deserve that, and he feels a wave of appreciation for Atsumu overwhelming him. He's so glad he didn't lost him. 

Kageyama texts him first thing in the morning with a simple:

"Good luck. :)"

Hinata beams at that, feeling a bit guilty nonetheless.

They take the bus and quickly join the stadium they'll be competiting in. It's huge, really, and Hinata starts to get his head into it, the usual feeling of excitiment before a game finally coming to him. It would be okay. Just do as usual. He goes to the bathroom before the game starts. And that's when he sees him. Standing there, looking straight at him, taller than Hinata remembered. Kageyama. His mouth opens a little bit, he has not expected to see him in the bathroom, that quickly, and he feels like he's not prepared enough, even though he's been waiting for that for weeks. Years, even.

“Hi Hinata.” Kageyama greets him, casual and Hinata smiles so much that his cheeks hurt. 

“Kageyama!” He screams, and the other smirks. 

“It's finally the day, huh? The day I'll beat you again.” Kageyama announces with confidence, and Hinata grins at that.

“Come again? I think it's day I'll finally beat you!” He says, pointing at Kageyama. “Just see!”

Kageyama scoffs, still wearing the playful smile on his face.

“Well, let's see that on the court.” He says, and pass by Hinata, leaving him alone in the bathroom. And just like that, it's over.

Hinata doesn't really process it, at first. That he just saw Kageyama. That he just talked to Kageyama. And that it was so..anti-climatic? He expected to feel butterflies in his stomach, to feel his cheeks warm from blushing too much, to feel his whole body burn with love and admiration and gratefulness of seeing him again. He frowns. It feels good to see him again, and he can't wait to play against him on the court but.. He can't stop but feel like something is missing. He thought he would burst out with happiness. Like they do in movies. He still feels a bit shaken, and he still feels the need to talk to Kageyama, and mess with him like he did in high school but it's..different. 

He stares at the door where Kageyama just left, and he almost feels disappointed. Almost. 

Black Jackals win against Schweiden Adlers in three sets. It was a great match, really, and Hinata has felt this deep connection he has with Kageyama, even through the net, for the whole match. They played again eachother very well, and it was probably the most exciting match Hinata ever had. Kageyama is not that shaken by the loss, surprisingly, and even hugs Hinata after it, saying how much he missed him. Hinata is pretty surprised, realizing it's the first time Kageyama's ever hugged him, and he squeezes him tighly, feeling happy to have his best friend back. But Atsumu quickly takes him away to hug him, too, and Hinata smiles widely, a natural reaction to Atsumu's affection. He presses his face to his chest, and his heart feels a bit lighter. The weird thought he had ealier not leaving his mind. He decides to not think about it too much, for now.

Things don't really change between Atsumu and Hinata. They're still too close to be considered just friends, and they still flirt, a lot. They can't spend a day without seeing eachother or at least calling eachother, feeling a weird emptiness on days they can't be together. Hinata spends less time thinking about Kageyama, this way. He stills talk to him, and they plan to see eachother again when Kageyama is finished with all his training for the national team. But it doesn't feel the same it did once.

Hinata talks about it to Kenma one day, trying to figure out what is really going on with him. Kenma is surprisingly full of good advices. He makes him realize that maybe Hinata was in love more with the thought of Kageyama, than Kageyama himself. Hinata has a hard time realizing that, at first. He doesn't think Kenma is entirely right, but he also doesn't think he's wrong. At first, Hinata stayed genuinely in love with Kageyama for months, maybe a year. But, it's true that, as time passed, loving Kageyama has become an habit for Hinata. A part of him. It felt natural, like the way he loves volleyball. But now that he thinks about it.. And now that he saw him.. He can't say that these feelings are as strong as they once were. Sure, they haven't completely left, but they can leave him. Hinata can fall out love with Kageyama.

It feels really weird, at first. Like he said, loving Kageyama was natural for him, and stopping loving him scares him. It means the end of something, the close of a large part of Hinata's life. It means Hinata can move on.

Months pass. The Black Jackals's popularity is at his peak right now. They've won many matches, and imposed themselves not only as skillful players, but also as very entertaining and fun team to follow, making them earn the public attention, alongside quite a few admirers. Hinata is shocked when he receives a box of chocolate on Valentine's day with a love letter. He troughfully reads the letter, a bit embarassed by the way the girl is disbribing him, but still overwhelmed with gratefulness. However, Meian forbids him to eat the chocolates, no without a few protestations from Hinata.

They're at the airport, heading to the U.S for a few matches they've got there, and Hinata is vibrating with excitation, Atsumu walking beside him, with the usual arm on his shoulder. What surprises Hinata, is the few paparazis waiting for them, cameras in hands. 

“Atsumu! Look!” He points at them, an excited look on his face, and Atsumu looks as shocked as Hinata.

“They're here for us?” 

“I think?” Hinata looks around him, trying to see if he sees a celebrity or something, but he doesn't.

He hears Bokuto loudly greet them and sees Sakusa trying to walk as fast as possible, and at that moment, weirdly, Hinata feels like he really belongs with them.

“Let's pose for a pic.” Atsumu says, and stops in front of a paparazzi.

They're all excitingly calling their names, taking as many pictures as they can, and Atsumu squeezes Hinata even more towards him, a charming smile plastered on his face. Hinata can't help but think that it looks like Atsumu is claiming him. Surprinsgly, hee doesn't mind.

These past few months have made him realize that he loves being friend with Kageyama. His feelings have slowly died down, and he now can hear Kageyama talking about his girlfriend without feeling any discomfort. And of course, in comparaison, his feelings for Atsumu have grown. Slowly, but Hinata can't ignore the pleasant node in the pit of his stomach when Atsumu looks at him, or the smile he can't contain everytime Atsumu makes a joke, even if it's not really funny.

He doesn't say anything to Atsumu. He knows Atsumu still loves him, and he even thinks that maybe Atsumu loves him even more than before. But Hinata is not sure he can return these exact feelings now. He likes Atsumu, deeply, but the word love kind of scares him now. He wants to take things slow. To do things in the right order. 

They have a few free days to visit Los Angeles before their matches begin. They all decide to stick together and not try anything alone, because knowing them, it could end with losing a member before they could have the chance to play. No one really say it, but they all understand that it's mostly to watch over Bokuto, but they all have to act like it's a general rule because if he was the only one forbidden to go alone, he would probably feel bad, and no one wants to make Bokuto sad. 

They start their first day of break by doing shopping, from Santa Monica to the Santee Valley, spending way too much money but not really feeling guilty about it. It's probably the power of visiting a country, making them focus more on having fun than anything else. 

Atsumu even buys Hinata a t-shirt, with written “Life is the party and I'm the piñata” on it, obviously as a joke, but Hinata can't help himself thinking that it feels weirdly domestical. He of course decides to wear the shirt for the rest of the day, and even buys a matching one for Atsumu. 

“Matching clothes, huh?” Atsumu wears his shirt proudly, walking next to Hinata. He takes his hand. “We're like a couple.” Hinata lets him.

They end their day at the club. They didn't really planned to, at first, but after a good dinner and maybe more beers than necessary, they found themselves in a pretty reputated club in the city. The music is loud, but good, and it's awfully crowded. Hinata doesn't mind, though, feeling in the mood for it. 

Bokuto and him are curently dancing in the middle of the crowd. They went as soon as they got here. They're not good dancers, so it's a pretty big mess, making the rest of the team laugh fondly at them, not forgetting to record some videos of it. 

Bokuto places his hands on Hinata's shoulders, and obnoxiously grinds against him, making Hinata laughs even more than he was before. 

They do that for only a few seconds, before Bokuto looks behind Hinata and stops.

“Oooh there he is.” Bokuto says. Hinata looks back, confused, and sees Atsumu walking towards them, his expression unreadable. 

“Atsumu!” Hinata says, excited, alcohol running down his system but not enough to make him drunk. Just a bit tipsy. “Dance with us.” 

Atsumu puts his arm around Hinata's waist as soon as he reaches them. 

“Having fun without me, huh?” His hand squeezes Hinata's side, in a way that makes his skin suddenly warm. 

“Well, now you're here.” Hinata smiles, innocently, even though he is starting to understand that maybe, Atsumu is a bit jealous. 

“You're disappointed?” Atsumu asks, putting Hinata even closer than he was before, making him almost collide against his chest.

“Not at all.” Hinata anwers slowly, looking at Atsumu right in the eyes, and neither of them notice Bokuto sliding away from them. 

“Good.” Atsumu now puts both his hands on Hinata's hips, facing him, pulling him close. He slowly starts to sway to the music, and Atsumu is surprisingly not that terrible, controlling Hinata's mouvements too, making them move together in a way that is not awkward. 

Hinata is the one this time to bring himself closer to Atsumu, his chest now only a inch away from his. At this, Atsumu turns Hinata around and this time presses his chest completely to Hinata's back. 

He feels shivers all around his body, and a breath against his neck. He closes his eyes, focusing on the sensation of Atsumu basically grinding against him. Atsumu's hand go a bit lower, settling on Hinata's hips, but not moving him, waiting for something. Hinata bites his lips, and feeling dary, presses his butt against Atsumu. He feels the breath on his neck hitches, and he smirks in satisfaction.

“You like that?” Hinata says, not really used of being this bold, the alcohol really helping, making him forget the good and the bad, and letting his body succumbs to what he wants. 

Atsumu doesn't answer but pulls Hinata towards his by his hips, a bit more brutally than Hinata did, a bit more controlling, and Hinata feels something stire in his lower stomach. 

“God..” He hears him whisper in his ear, and everything is too hot. Hinata suddenly feels like he's going to explode.

Atsumu grinds on him, for real this time, making Hinata squirms in his hands. They're alone. No one is dancing around them, no one is seeing them. Just them. Just the touch of their skins, their scents, the way Atsumu's hands feels warm on Hinata's hips, even on top of his shirt. The way Hinata's whole body urges for more, but is at the time overwhelemed by how much attention it's getting.

“Atsumu..” Hinata says, and he's not sure if he can hear him over the loud music. Atsumu breaks the contact, and at first Hinata feels disappointed and a bit frustrated, but Atsumu just turns him around and cups his face in his hands. 

“Shouyou.” He answers, and Hinata gulps.

They stare at eachother, the music now a fareaway sound to both of them. Hinata is not sure who's the first one to slowly close the gap, maybe they both are, and Hinata doesn't realize it. He doesn't realize they're going to kiss. He is just listening to what his heart and body are telling him, feeling powerless with the way Atsumu is looking at him. Hinata closes his eyes.

Their lips slowly brush against eachother, when Hinata feels Atsumu getting suddenly taken away from him. He has no time to react that someone is also grabbing him, pulling him away from the dance floor. He takes time to realize that it's Meian clunching his arm. He searches Atsumu, and finds him by the bar, a pretty flush on his cheeks, talking to Sakusa. No. He squeezes his eyes, trying to see better. Being yelled at by Sakusa, more precisly. Confusion and realization start to crash on him.

“What are you-” He starts, and Meian interupts him.

“No, I'm the one who should ask this question. What was that?” He says, a bit harshly as he stops by the same bar, but on the other side of where Atsumu is.

Hinata starts to process the fact that Atsumu and him not only grind on eachother, but almost kissed, in a very public place. He feels himself getting red. He doesn't answer.

“I don't care what is going between you two, but don't do that in public.” Meian sighs, his voice softening despite himself. “What if someone recognized you?”

Hinata avoids looking at him, a bit ashamed for not thinking about it. He always forgets that he's kind of famous, now. Even if they are in the U.S, they should be careful. 

“Sorry.” He says, not knowing what else he should do. 

“It's okay.” Meian puts his hand on his shoulder. “And please sort the mess that is your relationship with Atsumu.” 

Hinata blushes at the word “relationship”, but doesn't say anything about it.

“Yes.” He only answers, because, Meian is right after all. They should seriously talk.

They quickly join the rest of the team after this, and Hinata notices immediately the sour look on Atsumu's face. He doesn't dare speaking to him, not yet, not in front of the team who saw everything. Oh, it's true, they saw everything. From A to Z. Hinata finds himself blushing once again, now not daring to talk to any of them. Nobody says anything, but Bokuto pats his back. They all decide to go, feeling tired, and probably wanting to avoid another mess happening between Atsumu and Hinata. 

Atsumu and Hinata don't really speak during the ride back to their hotel, but they exchange a few looks, and flush red everytime their eyes meet.

Once they're back at the hotel, Atsumu doesn't wait and doesn't even try to hide, as he takes Hinata by the hand and walks to his room, ignoring the eyes lingering on them. Hinata feels suddenly embarassed, imagining all the ideas the other members are probably having right. Even Hinata doesn't really know what Atsumu is leading him to.

They reach Atsumu's room, and the door closes behind them.

Hinata looks at him, confused. Atsumu sighs, and sits on his bed.

“I'm so sorry.” 

What? 

Hinata frowns, not really understanding what Atsumu would be sorry for. It was obviously consented, everything that happened.

“Why?” Hinata slowly approaches the bed. 

“I shouldn't have done that. It's not correct after what you told me. I shouldn't have tried anything in the first place.” Atsumu takes his head in his hands, and Hinata is surprised.

Atsumu feels like he's in the wrong here? 

“Don't be sorry.” Hinata says, as he sits next to Atsumu. “I know your feelings. I'm the one who should have been more considerate.” 

Atsumu looks up. 

“But it's not your fault that I feel this way.” Atsumu says, and Hinata feels weird, having someone so good, so understanding, loving him like that, when he feels like he doesn't deserve it.

“It is.” Hinata says, frowning. “I'm the one hurting you.”

“You're not-” Atsumu answers immediately, but Hinata shakes his head.

“I am. And I'm so sorry.. I just.. I try, to be honest with my feelings, but it just.. It's too complicated.” Hinata sighs.

“It's not, though.” Atsumu starts. “It doesn't have to be.” 

And, it's weird, it's simple, but it's probably what Hinata needed to hear.

“Listen to yourself, only yourself, and don't hide your feelings in fear of hurting anyone.” Atsumu says, calmly, and Hinata feels like an idiot.

An idiot for making that much big of a deal of things that are pretty simple, really. What Hinata feels, what he doesn't anymore, what he wants to feel. It's all simple.

He wonders if it's the right time to say it. If it's going to make things better or worse. But he should listen to himself, to what he wants, what he needs, once in a while. He breathes deeply.

“I'm not in love with the other person, anymore.” Hinata spills out.

Atsumu straightens at that. 

“Oh?” He only says, looking surprised, but also confused.

“And also.. I.. I think.. No. I know.. that I like you.” Hinata admits, feeling his cheeks burning even more than when they were dancing against eachother nearly an hour agao.

“Oh.” Atsumu says, again, and Hinata feels himself vurnerable again. It's not the same as with Kageyama, he repeats to himself, it's not the same. Atsumu likes you. Atsumu is not going to reject you. Atsumu is safe. He deserves to know. Still, Hinata can't help feeling nervous, letting these feelings out in the open. He chuckles awkwardly when Atsumu doesn't say anything.

“Well.. I don't know if you really feel this way anymore but..” 

“Of course I do!” Atsumu cuts him, looking like he just processed what is going on. “I just.. didn't know you would too, one day.” Atsumu takes his hands in his, and Hinata can't help but smile.

He doesn't know why he didn't confess earlier. His body feels warm all over, and he's sure it's not because of the alcohol. And he feels calm, in a way. Like this is how things should be. 

Atsumu squeezes his hands.

“You really do?” He asks, in a way that almost sounds desesperate, and Hinata feels bad for keeping him waiting all these months.

“Yes, Atsumu. And.. And..” Hinata tries, his heart starting to beat rapidly against his chest.

Atsumu looks at him, patient, not pressuring him to say anything, and Hinata has never wanted to kiss someone so much before.

“I want to fall in love with you.” Hinata says, feeling raw, out in the open. But it doesn't feel bad. No, it feels freeing. “I really want to, if you let me.”

Hinata thinks that he saw Atsumu almost tearing up, before he launches at him and takes him into his arms. 

They stay like that for a few seconds, in silent, the only thing Hinata can hear is his own heart.

“I love you.” Atsumu says, his voice breathy and vulnerable. Hinata closes his eyes, and squeezes Atsumu against him. 

“I know.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Thank you for reading my story!  
> I hope you enjoyed it and don't hesitate to let me know your thoughts :)


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